April 28, 2010
Not Just on Mother’s Day
By Carol Carbutti
Did you know that Mother’s Day began way back in 1914, when President Woodrow Wilson proclaimed the second Sunday in May as this national holiday and asked all Americans to offer their respect and love for mothers publicly? Every year this day is celebrated by millions of families spending the day with mom to honor her and pay tribute to her. Moms often provide endless support, love and encouragement, especially during our most difficult times. Think of the countless diapers she changed, loads of laundry she managed, and the meals she prepared. Think of how moms were always there to love, comfort, protect and encourage their children. There is no doubt that mothers are special! Moms have that special touch to make things better, and put a smile on our faces and in our hearts.
While it is wonderful to offer our respect and love on Mother’s Day, there are 364 other days of the year that moms also deserve our praise. As our parents age, become ill or face injury, many of us will have the opportunity to honor our mothers and fathers by providing assistance and encouragement as life becomes more difficult in their golden years. Here are a few tips to help family caregivers ensure that their mom and dad are getting the interactive care and support they need and deserve.
1. IDENTIFY POTENTIAL LIMITATIONS – As our senior parents’ age in place, everyday tasks may become more difficult. An occasional visit here and there often does not allow us the opportunity to really see that. One can ask if there are certain aspects of daily living that are becoming more challenging. But the general answer you will get is – “No, I’m fine.” I have found that you really have to visit for a good solid day or more to see where they might need help. You might even stumble upon a potential medical concern or safety issue. Consider the skills and abilities you take for granted in living independently. Those skills might be difficult for them but often pride gets in their way of asking for assistance, as they don’t want to be a burden on you. If you notice your elderly mom may be struggling, discuss your concerns in a loving and kind manner to determine if it might be time to offer or otherwise provide homemaking and caregiving assistance.
2. MAINTAIN CONTACT – Whether seeing your healthy aging mom on a regular basis, or talking with her on the telephone, keeping the lines of communication open may give you insight to life changes and struggles she may be facing. Often, what she says or how she says it can be quite insightful. Each time I ask Mom how her day was, even though her answer is always “Good”, I can tell if that is a “good” good or a “bad” good just by her tone of voice. Ask questions such as: “What did you do yesterday?” “How are you feeling?” “When was the last time you saw your doctor?” “What are you planning to have for dinner tonight?” and “What can I help you with this week?” So often people don’t know what is going on, simply because they don’t ask. Maintaining ongoing communication and talking about more than just news, weather and kids is a great way to honor your mom and demonstrate how much you care.
3. PROVIDE SUPPORT – If you observe or have reason to believe your senior parents may be struggling, it is often easier to lend an occasional hand without asking and gradually increase the level of support you provide, as opposed to waiting for a crisis situation. Quite often the type of support your aging mom wants or needs is basic help around the house, assistance with meals or transportation, or a hand to hold and a heart to understand. For many us, providing assistance can be challenging because of family, work and personal commitments. Maybe it’s time to look for ways to supplement the care and support you are providing. Explore the options that may be available in your community. From community programs to our companion caregiving services, there are many ways to help people maintain their sense of purpose, level of activity and independence.
Comfort Keepers provides non-medical in home companions and personal care services similar to what is often provided by family members. Carol Carbutti, Owner, understands the need to keep people in their own homes and Comfort Keepers’ constellation of services are designed to help people of all ages (not just the elderly) stay in their own homes and maintain their independence and avoid isolation. We provide up to 24 hour care to clients in their residential home or in a facility. To learn more about our services call our office at 203-697-1030 or view our website at www.comfortkeepers.com/749
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